Yes kids, I am back on the diabetes wagon. For most of my diabetic life (12 years now) I think I've kept a log book for only 2 years, and thats not consecutive years, its more like a month here... oh a month there....half a month here. How in the hell is my endo supposed to fix anything if I can't pinpoint whats doing what and what affects me when? One day I hope to be able to have a child, but if I can't keep care of myself now, who is to say I'd be able to keep care of myself and my child? I graduated college, but I feel like I've royally fucked up, so I'm going back to school for a second degree to raise my gpa and get a better job because... I fucked up. The same thing goes with my diabetes, all these years and I think I've seen maybe two A1Cs below 7 and a handful below 8, which is horrible... the last one a few weeks ago was exactly 8%. Once again... I fucked up. So I finally bit the bullet and sheepishly asked my endo for a log book. She hands me one, only one, knowing that I wouldn't keep it anyway so why bother with more? So far, I've kept this log book up to date with 99% of all tests I've done over the past 2 weeks and I know my numbers aren't great, but baby steps young whippersnapper, you'll make it through the challenges... wax on, wax off.
On a romantic side note: Marc has been taking really good care of me. He recognizes when I'm going low and makes me take a time out and hands me a juice box or when I'm high he suggests we do something low-key. The simplest little things make me feel so loved.
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